The Emptiness of Excess
Chasing the Dream
At 18, I dreamt of wealth. Luxury cars, designer clothes, a stunning home, and a beautiful partner. Happiness seemed like a simple recipe.
Reality Check
In my 20s, I found myself in a New York City luxury hotel. Next to me, a beautiful TV actress. We had flown from Dallas.
Our days were filled with shopping, ice skating, Broadway shows, and fine dining. Evenings were spent sipping red wine at the Plaza bar, enjoying room service late into the night.
This luxe lifestyle was intoxicating. The city’s energy and the company of a successful woman were thrilling. Yet, inside, I felt empty. I craved alcohol, pills, cocaine, women, gambling, money, clothes. It was never enough.
Hitting Rock Bottom
Despite the dream-like escapades in NYC, I hit spiritual rock bottom. My quest for happiness through excess was misguided. It was underwhelming and empty.
Fast Forward to 45
I've been in prison since I was 30, serving a 30-year federal sentence. It sounds bleak, but I've unlocked something powerful. I feel spiritually and emotionally renewed.
A Journey of Transformation
From chasing happiness to finding joy, hope, and gratitude. The power of God and His grace transformed me. I wish I'd understood this sooner.
Early Skepticism
My dad was an alcoholic who found God and got sober around age 30. He centered his life on the church and tried to explain Christianity to me. I rejected it all, finding it boring.
The Turning Point: Brokenness
A Complete Breakdown
God knew breaking me down was the only way I'd listen. Seven years into my sentence, my mom died suddenly. In prison, mourning is not an option.
I spiraled emotionally and psychologically. I lost weight, stopped working out, and withdrew from life. I was miserable and bitter, with a crushed spirit.
A Blessing in Disguise: Solitary Confinement
A failed drug test for Suboxone sent me to solitary confinement. Withdrawal was hellish—no sleep, depression, and a lack of dopamine.
My Lifeline: Christian Radio
In solitary, I clung to sermons by Tony Evans and Chuck Swindoll. They became my lifeline, stirring something within me.
Renewing My Mind
Immersing in the Word
After emerging sober from solitary confinement, I returned to the general population. I began immersing myself in the Word of God—through my study Bible, sermons, and books. What once seemed like boring religious nonsense became nourishment for my soul.
A New Perspective
The experience was transformative. It felt like being supercharged with joy, contentment, and gratitude. This newfound energy and vitality were unprecedented.
The Power of God's Word
Unlocking the healing power of God’s Word changed everything. My circumstances didn’t change, but my heart did. I built a foundation through daily prayer and scripture.
Beyond Religion
Beyond Rituals
I realized Christianity isn’t just about religious routines or rules. It’s not about church attendance or memorizing Bible verses. It’s about a relationship with Christ.
Overcoming Challenges
Do you struggle with bitterness, regret, anxiety, or addiction? These emotions can steal your joy and lead to a counterfeit, fleeting happiness.
Finding True Joy
When God’s transformative power touches your life, addictions can fall away, and depression can be replaced with joy. The Word of God has an everyday impact that is life-changing.
Building on God's Word
Avoid falling into empty religious routines. Build your life on God’s Word, and it will transform you. It has given me the capacity to experience joy and life in ways I never imagined. That’s a blessing.
